Coping Skills, to the Rescue!
Coping skills: (KOH-ping skilz)
The methods a person uses to deal with stressful situations. These may help a person face a situation, take action, and be flexible and persistent in solving problems.
We all need a superhero in life, but sometimes we must turn to ourselves to be our own superhero. Having the skills to face difficult situations is about as impressive of a superpower you can get if you ask me. Fortunately for us, we have coping skills! Coping skills help us not only to handle stressful situations, but also to increase our happiness. Sometimes we need to do something to bring ourselves a little more joy, decrease boredom, or make ourselves feel calmer. A coping skill is all you need to create the desired outcome!
There are two types of coping skills: Problem solving coping skills and Emotion-focused coping skills. Problem solving coping skills are used when you have more control over situations while emotion focused coping skills are helpful when you have less control. An example of a problem solving coping skill is talking to your manager at work about an issue you are having with a coworker or creating a list of to-dos so that you don’t forget what responsibilities you have for the week. Emotion focused coping skills include, but is not limited to meditation, journaling, or deep breathing – activities that help us to manage our emotions.
Emotion focused coping skills can be broken down into several different categories as well. Self-soothing, distracting, opposite action, emotional awareness, mindfulness, and crisis plan. Examples of each are listed below.
Self-soothing
Bubble bath, put on comfortable clothes, light a candle, listen to music, watch funny cat videos
Distracting
Puzzle, reading, exercise, board games, do your hair/makeup, wash your car, etc. – Basically any activity that can get you focused on that instead of whatever emotion you are trying to avoid.
Opposite Action
Feeling angry? – listen to happy music.
Feeling sad? – watch a funny movie.
Feeling anxious? – take a relaxing bath.
Having negative self-talk? – say positive things about yourself.
Emotional Awareness
Journaling, drawing, create list of emotions you are experiencing
Mindfulness
Meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga, imagery, progressive muscle relaxation
Crisis Plan
Talk with a friend/family member, call your therapist call a hotline, call 911
The examples provided above are a small list of what you can do to help yourself get through difficult emotions and situations. Many times, people do not even realize that some of the things they do are coping skills. Ever noticed that every time you are stressed you listen to music you like real loudly in the car? Or when you get into an argument with a family member you go to your room to take a deep breath and collect your thoughts? Those are your coping skills!
So now that you are aware of a few healthy coping skills to get you started, it is equally important to understand what unhealthy coping skills are.
Unhealthy Coping Skills
Substance use
Procrastination
Avoidance
Over or Under Eating
Social Withdrawal
Social Isolation
Aggression
Pulling Out your Hair
Self-harm
If you find yourself engaging in these unhealthy coping skills, you may want to reconsider how you are handling difficult experiences and emotions. We often create additional stress or negative emotions when engaging in unhealthy coping skills. It is important to choose the coping skills that are helpful and not hurtful or create additional stress.
We have the control over how we choose to handle difficult emotions. I hope moving forward you pick the coping skills that are helpful for you and produce the best outcome. Coping with negative emotions is a superpower that we can all possess.
Now go out there and be your own dang superhero!
-Morgan Twidwell, LCSW, LSCSW