How movies and shows can reveal our deepest issues

Every time I watch a romantic comedy, there’s the usual plot line that revolves around two people that like each other, break up over some conflict, and in the end, they resolve the issue and get back together. But the conflict I usually watch over and over again is lack of communication. I think to myself ‘if that person had only told the other person how they truly felt, none of this would have ever happened.’ Prime example is in Shrek when Shrek fails to tell Fiona how he truly cares for her because he cannot get past his insecurity of being an ugly ogre. However, lo and behold, Fiona is really an ogre too, and of course, she withholds that information, too. Then the sad song Hallelujah cues up. I can’t help but think this never had to happen if they both just communicated. 

Movies aren’t always realistic, but sometimes they can reveal conflict and attributes we do not like or a character we empathize with greatly. An example is Cassie from Euphoria. We all get frustrated that she betrays her best friend because she is in love with Maddie’s ex-boyfriend. But the scene where her mom looks at her when she is going off to spend time with Nate is the same look we give our friends that put idols in their lives or participate in activities that we know (and they usually know, too) will hurt them in the end.

Unfortunately, some movies and programs reveal trauma in our lives and give us examples for how the character deals with their past or current situations. It can either help us resonate and find answers, alternatives, or a peace that we are doing the best we can. They can even unveil unresolved trauma.

The characters we get mad at and the plots we get frustrated about, do they reveal to you your deepest fear, problem, or desire? ‘If I just communicated with my partner, the argument would have never happened.’ ‘If I had taken the wisdom from my friends that love me, I would have never been hurt.’ 

So ask yourself, what is your favorite movie or TV show and why? What’s being revealed to you about yourself through that show? And which characters prompt something in you that you’d like to address?

-Chesnie Nichols, Counseling Graduate Intern