Rethinking Self-Care
Just when holiday decorations are tucked away (and January to-do lists are longer than CVS receipts), social media lights up with posts about winning at self-care. Cue the guilt and shame. Alongside an impossible number of obligations, deadlines, jobs, bills, and random needs, this call to action for self-care can feel like just one more box to check––a self-indulgent luxury at best.
If it’s hard to justify time for yourself with everything else pressing down, it may be helpful to rethink this whole self-care thing, challenge the thought that it’s selfish or elaborate, and plug in a different formula.
Self-care = Wellness
To be ready for life in general, our own physical and mental well-being are vital. Without this essential piece, it’s just really hard to thrive. So the old “put on your oxygen mask before assisting others” rule suddenly applies to everyday living. Investing in yourself means you’ll be better able to show up for the things and people you care about.
Self-care = Nourishment
When you’re hungry, your body needs food. When you’re tired, your body needs sleep. Your soul and mind need nourishment too, and they flourish when you pay attention to what relaxes and restores you. Running on empty makes it hard to have the energy, creativity, self-control, patience, or strength needed to live a full life. In this way, self-care is as essential as feeding yourself.
Self-care = Ease
It’s more than possible to find super easy ways to put your well-being first. When you make a daily habit of doing small things for yourself, it can become a way of being––a learned instinct to value and care for your own needs.
Self-care = Choice
There’s no right or wrong way to do this! And it doesn’t have to be complicated. Although a fancy trip or spa date can say self-care to some people, others might feel sustained by quiet conversation or a bike ride. The trick is to respect and care for yourself in little ways every single day. Consider what calms and refreshes you. Taking deep breaths? Listening to favorite music? An apple, a nap, a laugh, a break, some fresh air? Consider keeping a favorite quote on your lock screen, closing your eyes for a few minutes, sending a text to say hi, using that goofy mug you love, remembering to speak to yourself like a friend, saying no to new obligations, or making time for fun or solitude. Simply plug in to what you need and remember what matters most to you.
Self-care = Curiosity
Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly what you need. We’ve all been there. When you lose contact with how you feel or how to soothe yourself, approach that uncertainty with curiosity. It might be time to unplug with a book, a friend, a partner, or a therapist to help you reconnect. Check in with yourself. Be good to yourself. Taking care of YOU can lead to the peace, the comfort, and the caring human connection we all hope for.
-Penny Howard, LPC