Start Something New
It can be a scary thing to start something new in our lives. Even when we aren't happy with how things are going, the fear of failure or of the unknown can keep us stuck in place. I recently saw a quote that stood out to me by Henry Cloud. He wrote "a full life is one made up of many different experiences, thoughts, goals, distractions, triumphs and failures. If you have to fail, fail at something new, and learn from it." This is what it comes down to many times, to just try something new.
Anxiety will stand in our way; it will cause us to think of all the possible scenarios and ways something could go wrong, it will elicit the fear of the unknown or will tell you that you will fail, it will make you want to avoid any sort of change.
During my work as a counselor I have seen this fear of change surface in many clients. They come to counseling wanting to feel differently, but when the prospect of change being necessary to feel better they become anxious and resist. Ultimately, when you enter therapy you must decide if your desire to grow and improve is greater than your fear of failing at something new. Is the desire to be in a healthy relationship greater than the fear of being alone and leaving a toxic relationship? Is the desire to be in a fulfilling career greater than the fear of leaving the safe but soul-sucking job? These are questions that only you can answer. But if you don't like where you are and feel stuck, the only way to get unstuck is to move by trying something new. If you are ready to take that step, here is a way to get started:
Identify what needs to change
Brainstorm all the possible solutions to the problem. Don't censor yourself at this point; just list everything you can think of. Enlist the help of trusted family and friends as well.
Identify the pros and cons of each solution.
Rank the solutions from best to worst. Recognize that there might not be a perfect solution, but there could be better solutions than staying with the status quo.
Pick the best solution and start listing out the steps that would need to be taken.
Commit to the first step and take action. Put it on a calendar and tell someone that can help keep you accountable.
As you take more steps, assess if you are moving in the right direction. If you aren't, it is ok to look at the next solution you had listed and change course again. Many times we think the first solution has to work out perfectly, but it doesn't. It is ok to scrap an idea and move onto the next one. As Henry Cloud stated, "if you have to fail, fail at something new, and learn from it."