Why Therapy, Why Now?
Virginia Satir said it best, “most people prefer the certainty of misery to the misery of uncertainty.”
There are a lot of reasons people are stuck. People are stuck in the same conflictual relationships and unwanted coping mechanisms. People stay stuck in undesirable jobs and family disputes. People are stuck in irritable moods, worry, and isolation. People are stuck because creating change is hard. Doing something different or unfamiliar isn’t an easy task.
Sometimes being stuck is for external reasons. Reasons that are completely out of our control. That is both difficult and valid. For some, we are stuck because we are making the choice to stay that way.
It’s hard to hear, let alone admit that perhaps this is true. We all experience pain and sometimes, we create our own suffering. Trust me…I get it. No one person can claim they are doing everything “right” for their mental health and wellness. At certain points in our lives, we all make choices that feel incongruent with our wants, desires, and values. We all get avoidant at times or engage in our relationships or behaviors that make things worse. You are human and no one is expecting perfection here.
So how does therapy come into play?
As therapists we like to say, you are the expert on you, and we are the expert on change. So, let’s talk about how therapy may help you get unstuck.
First, therapy gives you room to access your own wisdom and personal agency. Through prompting, inquiry, and curiosity the goal is to help you figure out what is going to make the most sense for your life, without someone else telling you what is right for you.
Second, it helps people to identify patterns. When we gain insight into patterns in our life, we can begin to break them up and feel more aligned with healthy routines and rituals that honor our hopes, wishes, and desires.
Third, your therapist can help support you in navigating difficult decisions. You’ve got that right; we will not make the decision for you. However, we will help to guide you and facilitate a conversation that will hopefully make the decision feel a little more clear.
Fourth, therapy is a designated time to feel your feelings and prioritize yourself. Let’s be honest, in this busy day and age, very few people are prioritizing themselves to the degree their mind, body, and spirit desire. Therapy is set aside time where you get to be the one and only focus. Work, family, childcare, school, household responsibilities, and friends all get to fade away while you choose to care for and nurture your own needs.
Fifth, it is a safe space to process. Opening up about painful experiences and emotions or trauma can be incredibly intimidating. Therapy is an environment where you don’t have to worry about taking care of the person sitting across from you or questioning if they can handle it. It is their role to be a support system in your life and hold space for whatever you need to bring up. Their role is to also provide you with tools to learn how to manage the feeling of panic or overwhelm that can come from processing these difficult feelings and experiences.
Starting therapy is a big step. Truthfully, this process isn’t for everyone and if you feel like you aren’t ready or that’s not you, that’s okay too! However, if you are on the fence and wondering if therapy could be beneficial for you, my hope is that you have gleaned some information that will help you make an informed decision.
If you are interested in having a 15-minute consultation to ask questions and decide if counseling might be a good step forward for you, call or go online to book a session today.
Annie Bretches, LPC, PLPC