Working Through Difficult Thoughts

The article and podcast below describe difficult thoughts that you "need out of your mind."  As I have worked as a counselor, I have come across clients who would like to "get rid" of painful thoughts.  They include thoughts like life will never get better, what others think about me is right, life can't change, I should never have done that, and life is supposed to be easy.  While these are all thoughts that can work against your mental health and well being, it is simplistic to say you can "push them out of your mind."  If I tell you to stop thinking about ice cream, what is the first thought that comes to your mind?  I bet it wasn't monkeys...but you might be thinking about monkeys now.  The mind is a funny thing; thoughts come and go through our mind, many times without our conscious effort.  

One form of therapy that addresses these concerns is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT.  In this form of counseling, the goal is not to stop thoughts, but to become less fused with those thoughts.  The concept is that thoughts aren't the problem, it is how we incorporate those thoughts into our consciousness and behavior that becomes the problem.  For instance, the thought "I'm worthless and no one can truly love me" isn't a problem if it pops in the head of someone who acknowledges  it as a passing thought that isn't true and doesn't let it affect the way they interact with others.  However, that same thought can become a devastating burden to someone who fuses it with their self image, believes to the core they are worthless and unlovable, and who then changes the way they interact with others because of that worthless feeling.

ACT involves using mindfulness, or becoming aware and grounded in the moment, setting or discovering our core values in life, diffusing ourselves from thoughts that are contrary to those values, and taking committed action towards our values.  I think there is great value in the following article in identifying hurtful thoughts in our lives.  I encourage you to listen to or read it, but then look to see if you have these or similar thoughts in your life that you struggle with.  Are you fused with those thoughts, believing them to be true, and if so, are they helping or hurting your in your achievement of your values in life and in who you want to be as a person? Rather than just trying to push those thoughts out of your mind, analyze them, make room for them, read the thoughts like you would a newspaper article, and decide if you want to incorporate them into your life and act on them, or throw them aside as they come to mind.  It doesn't mean those thoughts will go away, it just means you won't let them dictate who you are.  


http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/09/26/9-thoughts-you-need-out-of-your-mind from Marc and Angel


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