Big Girls Do Cry
Crying. Something that occurs to all humans whether we want it to or not. Sadly, crying can be seen as a negative. “It means you’re weak”, “You are too emotional”, “Men should not cry”, “I should have more control”, “Please don’t cry around me it makes me uncomfortable”. And these are just some of the negative stigmas around crying. However, I am here to tell you that crying is a good and natural thing for you to do!
So let’s break it down. Why do we cry? There are many different reasons why our body needs to cry. The first one being it helps us communicate that something is wrong. Basically, the saying “A cry for help” is not terribly far off. The way I like to imagine it is our body is filling up with these emotions (anger, sadness, joy, confusion, love, hate) and once it fills all the way up to the top, it has no where else to go. This pressure needs to be released. Therefore, it is then released out of our eyes through tears. Once this pressure is released, we are able to stop and process the emotions that were filling up inside of us. Releasing this pressure makes us feel better but also tells those around us that “hey I am hurting and need some help”.
Sometimes expressing these hard emotions through crying can make us feel helpless or more vulnerable. This adds another layer of why people do not like crying. Vulnerability and loss of control is hard. The truth is crying helps build bonds and connection through this vulnerability with others. This social connection and bonding through crying helps others to sympathize and empathize with our situation.
Crying is what gives us great strength and helps us to connect with others, as well as release emotions. This vulnerability takes more strength and courage, even though in the moment we may see it as a weakness. It is the strength of showing your emotions when society says do not. It is the strength of showing up and showing your pain to others when you may not know the outcome. In the end, crying is what you make of it.
Sydney Redding, LMSW