The Three Elements of Self-Compassion
Most of us are familiar with the term compassion. Compassion is being kind, understanding, and empathetic to someone who is suffering. What we might be less familiar with, however, is self-compassion. The act of showing ourselves the same love and care we would show a close friend. And while practicing self-compassion can be challenging, it is so important to our wellbeing.
Dr. Kristin Neff has devoted her career to studying self-compassion and increasing awareness of how self-compassion impacts mental health. Through her work she has identified three elements of self-compassion:
1. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgement
Self-compassionate people are warm and understanding towards themselves when they experience failure, suffering, or feelings of inadequacy. Rather than reacting to personal challenges with judgment and criticism, they gently remind themselves that challenges are inevitable parts of life.
2. Common Humanity vs. Isolation
Self-compassionate people recognize that all humans suffer, and we are never alone in our mistakes or imperfections. Focusing on the shared human experience is an empowering way to decrease feelings of isolation.
3. Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification
Mindfulness in this context is the awareness of our negative thoughts and emotions, without judgment. Self-compassion entails observing a thought without attaching to it. This type of mindful awareness keeps us from either exaggerating or minimizing our thoughts and emotions.
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How do you feel about each of these elements? Is there one that you identify with more or less than the others? Like building any habit, practicing self-compassion takes time and patience.
“Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?”
Source / more information about self-compassion: https://self-compassion.org/
Gabi Boeger, LMFT