Five Love Languages

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Being loved feels and looks different for everyone. It is important when having a partner that you understand what makes them feel loved. This can be helping them around the house, spending time with them or giving them a back rub. Over time, what makes someone feel loved can change.  What made someone feel loved when you first met them, may not have the same impact today. Fortunately, there is an opportunity for you to learn what your partners love language is, utilizing the 5 Love Languages.  

Physical Touch 

Acts of Service 

Quality Time 

Words of Affirmation 

Receiving Gifts 

Some people may instantly be able to identify what their love language is, but if not, you can take a quiz online to learn what yours is! Knowing you and your partner’s love language will significantly impact your relationship in a positive way if you make minor adjustments to how you show love.  

For example, maybe you buy your partner a bouquet of flowers and they seem appreciative, but not in the way you had hoped for. It may be that their love language is not receiving gifts, but it is acts of service. For them, if you unloaded the dishwasher on your own, they would be much more appreciative and in turn, feel much more loved by you.  

Simply knowing your partners love language, is not enough. It takes adjustment on your end to make sure that you are fulfilling the needs of your partner. That means you may need to change the way you have been showing love.  

Here are some examples of how to fulfill each love language. 

  • Physical touch: Hugs, back rubs, hand-holding, and becoming intimate with your partner. 

  • Acts of Service: Taking out the trash, cleaning up the house, filling up the car with gas. (all without being asked) 

  • Quality Time: Watching a movie together, having a meaningful conversation, going out to dinner. 

  • Words of Affirmation: ‘I am proud of you’, ‘You look handsome’, ‘The house looks nice’. 

  • Receiving Gifts: Bouquet of flowers, candy bar, something you noticed your partner has been talking about recently but has not bought for themselves. 

Let’s use the Chiefs as an example…

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If you are looking to improve your relationship, understanding your partners love language could be just the trick. Take the quiz, read the book and watch your relationship change for the better! 

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman 

 

Morgan Twidwell, LCSW, LSCSW

  

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