How to Choose a Counselor - The Therapeutic Relationship
It can be overwhelming picking a counselor to work with. There are many things to consider when choosing a counselor. The theory, techniques, and experience can have an impact on the outcome of therapy; however, studies have shown that the therapeutic relationship accounts for about twice as much as technique in having a positive outcome of therapy. Having a poor therapeutic relationship also accounts for people dropping out of therapy early. If you feel uncomfortable around your counselor, don't like them, or don't trust that they can help you then there is little chance you will have a positive outcome.
Some qualities that go into a good therapeutic relationship include having mutual respect, a sense of teamwork, good non-verbals such as eye contact, good listening skills, encouragement, honesty, and use of humor. It is also important for a counselor to include you in the therapeutic process, including goal setting and feedback. Many clients appreciate counselors who appreciate the autonomy of clients, that they have the right to make their own decisions and that they know themselves better than anyone else.
There are several qualities that have been proven to help the counseling relationship. Genuineness, or the counselor's ability to be authentic and real, helps clients feel comfortable and willing to be themselves. Acceptance, or the ability to approach clients in a non-judgmental posture, helps clients trust that the counselor isn't trying to pass off their own moral judgments onto them. Counselors should also express positive regard to their clients, meaning they respect the clients' ability to make their own decisions and welcome their feedback during the counseling process. Lastly, counselors should be experts in expressing empathy. Empathy is not feeling sorry for others, but it is genuinely trying to understand the feelings of others and putting themselves in the other's shoes.
Two different clients could have a vastly different impression and experience with the same counselor who has these qualities. This is why it is important to not only know what qualities make a good counseling relationship and a good counselor, but to also find a counselor that you feel comfortable with and enjoy being around. By taking these steps and finding a counselor you like you greatly increase the likelihood of having a positive counseling experience.