Taking Care of Yourself After Baby
So often in my work with expecting and new mothers, I see women prepare in so many ways to dedicate themselves fully to their new baby, and changing families. They prep the freezer meals, give the house a good deep clean, make sure laundry is caught up, and schedule all the things for older siblings. But what I don’t see, is women asking themselves…
How will I take care of me?
Taking care of yourself after baby is just as important, if not more important than it was before. It doesn’t matter if this is your first baby, second, or fifth; you should always be prioritizing yourself. In order to be the best mom to your baby (and other kids at home), you need to be the best you for yourself. Here a few tips to think about after bringing home a new baby.
Get up and get dressed. Putting on day-time clothes, even if they’re still comfy but different from pajamas, will help you feel more put together and refreshed on a regular basis.
Make time for a shower. I remember having my first baby and feeling like “how do mom’s shower? I’ve got spit up and milk all over me, but…how do I shower?” You make time. Taking care of your personal hygiene is so important to feeling rejuvenated and refreshed throughout the day. Maybe not every day is wash your hair day, but at least get in and let the hot water hit you after a long day or night of taking care of baby.
Take time to rest. “Sleep when the baby sleeps” is sometimes such a humorous thing to hear and say as a mom to another mom, but seriously. It is so important to find time to rest. Becoming laser-focused on taking care of the baby & others in your home, staying on top of household duties, and trying to manage visitors is exhausting. It can take a toll on you and if not addressed in a timely manner, can lead to some serious mental health concerns. So, rest! Rest when the baby rests; rest when others are there to help; rest when you feel like “I really need to load that dishwasher”, because if your body says “it’s time to sit down”, that dishwasher can wait.
Ask for help. So many new moms have told me they don’t want to reach out for help, because “I need to figure this out on my own.” Sure, that sounds great, but no one expects you to have it all figured out right away, and there’s no timeline dictating when you stop asking for help. Zero. It doesn’t exist. Find your village and lean on them. Ask for help with meals, household duties, holding the baby if you need a break, anything- ask for it!
Set boundaries. You do not have to entertain every visitor that wants to come to your house. You do not have to accept every invite for socializing after baby. You can accept lunch and ask them to leave it on the doorstep. You can set a limit for how long visitors stay, so you can feed the baby in peace. Don’t feel like it’s your responsibility to fulfill every request of others with your new baby. Set those boundaries.
Seek professional help, if needed. There are a number of resources for baby blues, postpartum anxiety and depression. If you feel that you need professional help- get it. It is very normal for women to feel bouts of sadness, worry, excitement, frustration, anger and even rage at times, following delivery. So many things physically, emotionally, and mentally are changing within us and around us, it can be a lot to manage. When these symptoms become overbearing, and are no longer fleeting, reach out for help.
Here is a great list of books that address PPA/PPD and the transition into motherhood:
https://postpartumstress.com/books/
Remember, it is not selfish to take of yourself after baby, it is essential!
Leslie Thompson, LCSW, LSCSW