Avoid Those Pesky Mealtime Struggles
Mealtimes. Have you ever caught yourself thinking “why are mealtimes so hard?” Maybe it’s a struggle to get your child to sit at the table, or try new foods, or eat what is on their plate. Whatever it is, it makes mealtimes more stressful than you’d like, right?
Mealtimes don’t have to be such a struggle, if parents can put healthy habits in place around eating. The Parents Active in Their Children’s Health (PATCH) Program provides helpful tips for healthier mealtimes by using the acronyms PREP and PARED shared below.
First, let’s talk about the things to avoid during mealtimes and why. Think PREP.
Pressuring to Eat: “Hurry, eat faster. Take another bite” “You need to make a happy plate.”
Bribing and/or begging your child to eat more of something, try something different/new, or eat faster prevents them from learning what it’s like to feel hungry and full on their own. It can also make meals feel like more of a performance for the child, rather than a time to fuel their bodies and learn about body cues and healthy foods.
Over-restriction of Foods: Never giving candy or “junk food” for your child, at all.
Complete restriction or forbidding your child from ever trying certain foods, prevents them from independently learning to eat these foods in moderation. This can lead to sneaking or overeating of these foods in the future, once they are able to eat or try these foods.
Eating as a Reward: “If you eat the rest of your vegetables, you can have dessert.” “If you listen at the store, we will get ice cream on the way home.”
Giving food to your child as a bribe or a reward for good behavior can make them see food/eating as something that is necessary to have fun or something that is deserved or not deserved. This can lead to overeating or restriction of eating habits in your child. It can also lead to the unnecessary and unwanted cycle of always having to reward your child for eating, rather than teaching them healthy habits without the reward.
Withholding Food as Punishment: “You don’t get snack now, because you’re not listening.”
Sending your child to bed without dinner, or taking away a snack because they misbehaved earlier in the day ignores your child’s natural hunger cues and can lead them to eat more than they actually need.
Now let’s talk about what to do to promote healthy eating habits, and address unhealthy behaviors at mealtimes. PARED.
Praise Healthy Mealtime Behavior: “Thank you for sitting so nicely at the table.” “I love how you ate your veggies- those will help you grow big and strong.”
Labeled praises that point out healthy and positive behaviors at mealtimes will encourage your child to continue making healthy choices and request healthy foods in the future. Also, praise feels good for everyone- you as the parent, and your child loves to hear the praise.
*If you missed the blog: Power of Praise by Resolve Clinician, Brooke Nelson, be sure to check it out after this! It’s fantastic and talks more in depth about labeled praises that can easily be generalized to mealtimes as well.
Allow Child Choices about Food: “Today for snack, there are apples, cucumbers, or carrot sticks. Which would you like?”
Letting your child choose from a few different options decreases conflict and encourages them to develop independence in healthy eating habits.
Recognize When Your Child is Full: “It looks like you’re done. Are you feeling full?”
Noticing signs that your child is full and allowing them to stop eating at that point, allows them to learn what it’s like to feel full or hungry. If children aren’t given the opportunity to learn this, they overeat. This can also promote healthy conversation regarding the end of mealtimes.
Structure the Mealtime Environment: Give your child a job at mealtimes, such as setting the table.
Set routines, like eating at the same time each day, or everyone eating at the table with the TV off. Consistent routines, reducing distractions, and offering a range of healthy food choices make it more likely that your child will sit to eat and will help you manage their behaviors.
Describe Mealtime Activities: “You’re eating all your peas.” “You took your last bite of strawberries.”
Describing your child’s appropriate mealtime behavior, what they eat, and their food experiences will help them stay focused on the meal. Describing foods will increase your child’s interest in them, help them be mindful of what they’re eating, and can also open up positive conversation about mealtimes and healthy foods. This will also keep them at the table longer as they are staying focused on their foods, rather than being distracted by other things.
Take the fight out of mealtimes. Avoid the PREP and focus on PARED. If you can regularly implement these tips, mealtimes will feel less stressful and more positive for both parents and children.