Children and Trauma
What is a Trauma: In general, trauma can be defined as a psychological, emotional response to an event or an experience that is deeply distressing or disturbing. Some examples include child sexual or physical abuse, witnessed domestic, community or school violence, bullying, car accidents, life-threatening illnesses, natural disasters, exposure to war, or the sudden death of a loved one. Although some children are resilient and do not develop long-lasting trauma symptoms other children do develop intense responses. It is important for parents to understand trauma symptoms, their role with their child and when it is appropriate to seek treatment.
Common Reactions to Stress and Trauma:
There are numerous ways children react to a traumatic event. It is helpful for parents to understand the trauma symptoms shown below. A child may experience some or all of the symptoms.
Struggles Sleeping - nightmares, trouble falling asleep or staying asleep are symptoms a child could experience. Nighttime is a quiet time for children to recall/replay a traumatic event over and over in their head. Some children can develop a fear of falling asleep because of repeating nightmares.
Easily distracted - a child is thinking about the traumatic event repeatedly and may seem miles away.
Withdrawn - a child may not want to talk or think about the traumatic event and may suddenly avoid previously preferred activities or hobbies. They could also pull away from friends and family members.
Heightened responses - Parents may notice an increased startle response and their child feeling scared and nervous for no clear reason.
School Concerns - Teachers frequently report struggles to concentrate in the classroom which can result in decreased academic performance. Intrusive thoughts enter the child’s mind in the middle of a lesson.
Emotions - An array of emotions are normally present. The emotions are sadness, anger, loss of motivation, scared, worried.
Behaviors - Traumatic events produce regression in developmental milestones among younger children. This could include clinginess to parents, bedwetting, thumb sucking and baby talk. Parents could notice an increase in aggressive behaviors including fighting with siblings or peers. In teens you could see high-risk behaviors such as drinking or using drugs.
Physical - Children will often report stomach aches, headaches and feeling tired.
What Parents Can Do:
Maintain routine and expectations for your child - We know children thrive on consistent routines and clear expectations. Returning to, and maintaining, a normal structure as well as consistent rules and clear expectations helps the child feel more stable and secure within the environment.
Let your child know they are safe - Parents should ensure a child’s physical safety. This safety is critical to restore a sense of security for the child.
The traumatic event is not your child’s fault - Children can carry guilt and shame regarding the traumatic event. Adults want to reassure the child this was not a result of their actions.
Talk about the traumatic event - If the child brings up the event, parents should listen to the child, give age-appropriate answers and provide support as needed. Parents should restrain from asking questions.
Give the child some control - Children feel out of control after a traumatic event, allowing them to make age-appropriate decisions gives them a sense of control back.
Offer positive praise for desirable behaviors - Trauma can impact a child’s self-esteem. It is important for parents to find ways to praise for desirable behaviors within their child.
Seek support for yourself - it is crucial for parents to have a circle of support to help navigate trauma symptoms. Please rely on family, friends and professionals for guidance.
Seeking help
Recovering from a traumatic event is a gradual and ongoing process. If, after several weeks, parents are not noticing a decrease in your child’s trauma symptoms it maybe time to seek professional treatment. Treatment will help the child reduce trauma symptoms by understanding the complexity of trauma, teaching the child coping skills, learning effective expressions and cognitive processing of inaccurate and unhelpful thoughts. Therapy creates a safe place for a child to process the traumatic event through creating a trauma narrative to master their traumatic memories.
Jennifer Jackson-Rice,
LSCSW, LCSW
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