Great Expectations: The Pain of Setting the Bar Sky High
According to December lore and social media posts, we’re all deliriously happy people right now, drinking artisan cocoa in our perfect, wrinkle-free matching pajamas. New Year resolutions aren’t far behind, layered with messages that we should be so much better than we actually are. This hot mess of unrealistic expectations can leave us feeling crappy about our own holiday chaos, cluttered living rooms, imperfect bodies, complicated families, and less-than-ideal lives. So much for comfort and joy.
The pressure to be superhuman and Instagram-ready isn’t unique to the holidays. It can be felt year-round––every single time we don’t live up to imagined standards we think we need to meet. But seriously, omg seriously, we’re allowed to be human. That might seem obvious, but we do create a lot of our own suffering by expecting way too much of ourselves and those around us. Maybe it’s time to redefine what successful living looks like for mere mortals.
Imperfection is underrated
Moments don’t have to be magical to be lovely. Same goes for holidays, relationships, material things, jobs, parenthood, and anything else you may be stressing about. There’s something to be said for putting in good effort and enjoying even less-than-perfect results instead of feeling like a failure. Relaxed acceptance can go a long way. P.S. The people in our lives we love the most usually know how to keep it real. Genuine authenticity and relaxed living feel comfortable and easy to be around.
Comparison steals contentment
When we compare ourselves to others, unhappiness and anxiety show up. Instead of comparing, try focusing on your strengths. Pay attention to what is working. Feel grateful for meaningful people and things in your own life. And remember…other people may think your grass is greener.
Awareness creates change
Begin to notice when you find yourself working overtime to make things just right. Being fully aware can allow you to nurture a more realistic vibe and take life as it comes. Remember that “good enough” minus the stress can be even more enjoyable than “perfect” at the expense of your own well-being.
Self-compassion is the antidote
When you feel extreme expectations pressing down, try a bit of self-compassion. It helps to treat yourself like you would treat a good friend, and ditch that mean inner critic. When we fully accept ourselves, we’re less likely to chase rainbows to the point of exhaustion and disappointment.
So, give yourself a break and do what you can. Photo filters might make things look perfect but filtering our expectations can allow us to appreciate the sweetness of real life. As it turns out, inner peace is better than a thousand likes.