How to Increase Self-esteem

Many people struggle with their self-esteem, but do not know what to do to improve it. It certainly can be a challenge, but fortunately with some hard work and a little time there are ways to boost your self-esteem. There are many tools that you can work on to improve your self-esteem, and I have listed 5 helpful ways to get started.

Positive affirmations

The way that we talk to ourselves is important, because many times we are more critical of ourselves than we are to anyone else. Positive affirmations are statements that provoke positivity and encouragement. This can include anything from “I am smart”, “I am deserving of love”, or “My body is a gift”. It is important to be encouraging to yourself, because we cannot expect to get words of encouragement from others. Sometimes you must be your own hype man!

Engaging in hobbies

When we have hobbies and interests that we engage in, we can feel a sense of pride and accomplishment in the activities we do. Taking time to take care of ourselves and activate our brains in ways that produce pleasure, helps us to have a more positive outlook and feel confident in ourselves. 

Doing acts of kindness for others

Let’s be honest, it is hard to feel bad when we can put a smile on someone else’s face! Doing random acts of kindness with no expectation of anything in return can help to increase your mood, simply by knowing that you have helped to improve someone else’s. These acts of kindness help to shift our focus from negative thoughts about ourself to positive thoughts about others and yourself. 

Accomplishing a goal

As most of us know, it is hard to feel down and out about ourselves after we have completed a goal. Setting small, achievable goals for each day can be a great way to help boost your confidence. Accomplishing these goals allows for you to reflect on your day and acknowledge the work you did to complete the task set out for the day and develop a sense of pride and accomplishment for yourself. It even helps us to understand how much we are capable of and all the other things we can accomplish in our life.

Challenging your unhelpful thoughts

Everyone has thoughts that are unhelpful from time to time. Sometimes those thoughts can begin to feel overwhelming. These thoughts, or cognitive distortions, are based on emotion, not facts or logic. Challenging these thoughts and trying to see situations in a different perspective can help to improve your mood and self-esteem. For example, if you were texting a friend or coworker and they did not get back to you for a while you might think, “I must have done something to upset them.” However, they could be sleeping, busy at work, or in the shower. There are many other options, and it is important to challenge those ideas and not just go with your immediate thought, especially if it is unhelpful or made with assumptions.

Taking the steps outlined above, is the start of growth and becoming the best version of you! 

“There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” 

– Aldous Huxley, writer and philosopher

- Morgan Twidwell, LCSW, LSCSW