LITTLE PEOPLE, BIG FEELINGS
If you’re like me, you’ve told your child “no” to something that seems minor, or perhaps you’ve given them an easy task to complete. The next thing you know, an all out meltdown is happening, leaving you puzzled and wondering what went so terribly wrong. First - know you are not alone! We see you mom/dad. We get you. We’ve been there, done that, today AND yesterday!
As parents one of the most important jobs we have is setting boundaries and limits for our children. However, every parent has been in that position where it seems so much easier to give in and avoid the tantrum we see around the corner.
Managing these major meltdowns can leave us feeling both exhausted and frustrated. So what do we do? Where is the happy medium of providing the boundaries and limits kids require while molding children that can handle directions or parent responses of which they aren’t fans.
One simple approach I use in my practice is teaching children how to understand and express their emotions. Research tells us early emotional development in children is very important and can improve mental health outcomes even into adulthood. Helping children learn how to process difficult feelings is an important part of decreasing future tantrums.
The good news is there are many opportunities for parents to teach their children about emotions in their day-to-day routines. A great place to start is by describing for children the emotions we observe. For example, if Myles is frowning and crossing his arms because he was told he only has 5 more minutes to play at the park, I might say to him, “I’m wondering if you’re feeling sad and disappointed that it’s almost time to go. I can tell because your smile is upside down now.” Often times this helps children start the conversation with us about what they are thinking and feeling.
When children feel their voices are heard, even when the outcome remains the same, it helps them deal with the difficult feeling. A little empathy for them can go a long way. Teaching children how to recognize both verbal and nonverbal cues is an important first step in building coping skills that can last them a life time!
Jenna Reddoch,
LSCSW
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