Self-Care: What’s Your Plan?
During the past five years, self-care has become more prominent in mainstream America and has become synonymous with developing a good mental health plan. According to Google, in 2016 the term self-care was searched almost twice as often as it had been in the past. Psychology Today reported that self-care was the most popular app theme in 2018. In March 2020, Google saw a spike in topics related to self-care. While it’s easy to see that self-care is growing in popularity and importance, it can be harder to understand exactly what it is.
Before we define what self-care is, let’s take a moment to understand what self-care isn’t. Self-care isn’t a one size fits all remedy. What works for your mother, your brother, your best friend or your co-worker may not work for you. It’s important to understand what self-care activities you’re doing and why as well as being aware of the results of your self-care practice. Self-care isn’t a singular skill, but rather a practice that exists to foster mindfulness and presence, engagement, self-love, and wellness – spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Most importantly, self-care isn’t selfish. Self-care is knowing yourself well enough to understand your needs and giving yourself permission to take care of those needs because you realize your own self-worth and value. Adventurer and globe trekker Megan McCormick said, “If we don’t take care of ourselves, if we don’t put on the oxygen mask first, we don’t have the capacity to help those people we care so much about.” When you take care of your needs, you are better able to take care of the needs of others.
So now that we know what self-care isn’t, how do we figure out what self-care is? Merriam-Webster’s dictionary simply defines self-care as “care for oneself.” In a nutshell, self-care is a proactive, regular and intentional process of protecting, managing and sustaining one’s mental health. Instead of waiting for red flags or for your body to indicate that something is wrong, self-care becomes a way to be actively involved with your own well-being. Self-care comes in many different forms. Some areas of self-care to consider when thinking about your needs are:
Physical self-care. Diet and nutrition, exercise, hydration, personal hygiene, sleep, preventive medical appointments.
Psychological self-care. Taking time off when needed, self-compassion, recognizing your strengths and achievements, cognitive restructuring or reframing to help quiet your inner critic, having a support system, asking for help, talking about your problems, seeking help from a professional counselor, when needed.
Social self-care. Spending time with loved ones, engaging in enjoyable activities with others, having stimulating conversations, staying in touch with friends and family who are far away.
Spiritual self-care. Spending time in nature, meditating, praying, recognize the things that give meaning to your life, acting in accordance with your morals and values, setting aside time for thoughtful reflection.
Professional self-care. Maintaining a balance between your professional and personal life, making time to talk and build relationships with co-workers, taking breaks during work, saying “no” to excessive new responsibilities, improving your professional skills.
Leisure and fun. Finding time to relax, taking part in activities that you enjoy, finding a quiet space to get away from distractions and duties.
The “no” list. Self-care isn’t just about what you need, it’s also about defining what you don’t need. What are the things you no longer enjoy? What things are having a negative impact on you? Some examples of saying “no” might include: “no” to scrolling through social medial before bedtime, “no” to maladaptive and unhealthy coping mechanisms, “no” to answering your phone during dinner, “no” to comparing yourself to others, “no” to doing things you can delegate.
With all the options available for creating a self-care plan, actually doing it can feel daunting and overwhelming. Below are a few tips to making a self-care plan a routine.
Getting Started
Assess your self-care needs.
Set your intentions. Understand why you are creating a self-care plan and why it’s important to you. When you have bad days or negative self-talk moments, you’ll have a ‘talk back’ plan to combat those negative thoughts to help keep you motivated and on track.
Keep it simple. Start small. Don’t overload yourself. Choose one or two activities and convert them into daily, weekly, monthly observable self-care activities.
Daily
Small things make a difference. If we make a plan too big or too complicated, we might give up if we don’t have the energy or can’t find the time to see it through.
Spend five minutes a day doing something you enjoy. If you have more than five minutes, that’s wonderful, but what isn’t wonderful is creating a self-care plan that feels like a burdensome obligation.
Weekly
Take 15 minutes one day a week to write down any areas of stress or imbalance that came up over the past week. Write down potential self-care solutions for each.
Monthly
Variety is the spice of life. Take 30 minutes one day a month to create a new list of self-care activities to ensure that they fit into lifestyle, your schedule, your budget, that they are in-line with your values, and that they meet your everchanging needs.
Yearly
Celebrate. Once a year take time to assess your current self-care plan and whether it’s working for you, helping you feel satisfied with the quality of your life, and reflective of your goals and values. If it is, celebrate your self-care!
If you feel you have some areas to work on, write down what your ideal life would look like—no matter how far-fetched. Decide what elements of this ideal life you might be able to bring into your current situation. Take small steps daily towards the life you want. Engage a few minutes a day in an activity that excites you. How you live each day matters. Small things add up to bigger changes.