The Healing Nature of Authenticity
“We are constantly invited to be who we are.”
The capability of authenticity to assist in the healing process is profound. When someone is vulnerable enough to let their wounds bleed onto the pages of a book for the world to take hold of or maybe just to the honored ears of another, magic happens. Healing happens.
I recently found myself reading a book concerning the emotional monster of disappointment. And then I got to Chapter 6. Throughout the next 17 pages, it was as if the writer knew my every thought, knew my every disappointment. I cried (sobbed) thinking that another person could relate to what I was experiencing. When I set the book down for the night, I felt emotionally stronger and more hopeful, all because someone decided to be authentic with their struggles. Through the aspirations of false perfectionism, I had been trying to shove away unpleasant emotions (that didn’t fit into my perfect persona) all with the might of someone barely inching through a 12-pound dumbbell curl. It wasn’t working.
The dangerous thing about shoving unwanted emotions away is that they are never really gone. They are still there, somewhere, waiting for the right trigger to knock on the door and open the floodgates. The bigger problem is that when we deny emotions, it’s almost as if they go into a crockpot with the perfect concoction that allows them to develop bigger than initially felt. So what if we stopped shoving and denying and choose authenticity instead?
Choosing authenticity doesn’t mean that your every thought, feeling, and circumstance is posted to the World Wide Web for any wandering eye to read. Choosing authenticity does mean that you allow yourself to accept every emotion you feel, positive or negative, and from that place of truth invite a trusted confidant into your process.
The lie of authenticity says that if people knew what was going on inside of you, they would be appalled at worst and judgmental at best. But what truly happens when we choose authenticity is connection, and thru connection healing can occur.
So my challenge to you (and myself) this New Year, is to live authentically. To live authentically through the best Instagram worthy moments and through the “I’d rather not post” moments. To find a few close confidants (or even just one!) that you feel safe with and live your best, most authentic life. I would be willing to bet that you end this year feeling more known, more genuine, and more yourself than ever imagined. Let the challenge begin!
Brandi Kujawa
Counseling Intern Level I
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