Why is hating ourselves easier than believing in our value?
How do we embrace who we are, flaws and all, when every other post, advertisement, radio commercial, and conversation we overhear is about fixing something that’s “wrong” with us?
Do you want the good news or the great news? The good news is, you don’t have to listen to any of that. The great news is that what will make you truly happy is already inside of you (yes YOU) waiting to come out. That part of you may be buried deep down below layers of shame, heartache, self-hatred, regret, distorted beliefs, and possibly a few layers of lotion you read would make your skin tight and tan. I don’t blame you, we’ve all been there.
This year, for Eating Disorder Awareness Week the theme is Come as You Are, Hindsight is 20/20. Adding on to last year’s similar theme, this year I want to encourage anyone reading this to think about this past year and feel proud of the ups and downs. You are a stronger and wiser person because of anything and everything you went through and learned. Even if there were setbacks or unplanned events, you are stronger because of it. It may not feel like it today, and that’s perfectly okay. You deserve to have the life you want and I can assure you that doesn’t involve the newest fad diet you saw on Instagram. You are enough just the way you are. If you read that statement and immediately had the thought “I don’t feel that way so there’s no way that’s true” then I assure you it is true. You have been conditioned to feel like you’re not enough and I’m sorry for that.
As ridiculous as it may sound, it is completely possible to rewire our brains to hear those distorted messages in our culture and not buy into them; to see our “flaws” in the mirror and immediately feel pride and gratitude for our bodies. It doesn’t happen overnight though. It takes daily practice to rewire our brains and it’s worth it. On the fence? If you were to add up all the time you spent every day worrying about what you ate, didn’t eat, what you weigh, how your clothes fit, what others think of you, if that person will find you attractive, etc, how much time would that be? Hours I’m guessing? This takes much less time I promise.
Daily practice to rewire your brain and start valuing your body:
Every morning when you look in the mirror, specifically thank three parts of your body for what it’s about to do for you that day.
Every evening, thank three different parts of your body for what it did for you that day. The more specific and the weirder it feels, the more it helps!
Make space for gratitude for your body in your mind. We can’t turn off the negative thoughts, but if we make room for gratitude, eventually it will overpower and drown out the negative thoughts. Try being grateful for what your body is doing for you at the same time the negative thoughts are pinging your mind.
This isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a daily practice that is entirely worth it. Just think of all the time you could save not disliking yourself!
Whitney Harken, LSCSW, LCSW, CEDS-S
#NEDAwareness #Comeasyouare