Coping - The Basics
“I just want to deal with my [feelings, thoughts, memories, urges or sensations ] better.”
You’re not alone and I’m glad you’re open to reading about ways to do it.
Commonly we spend our energy trying to avoid or react to these unwanted feelings, thoughts, memories, urges or sensations that we get stuck or life gets worse.
The good news, with healthy coping skills, you can get unstuck and move through life regardless of the discomfort of the moment or experience.
The first step is to build awareness and an understanding of what initiates these feelings, thoughts, memories, urges or sensations. In counseling, we call these “triggers.”
The list can be really long, that’s ok. Awareness is key.
The truth, triggers are typically unavoidable. For example, I imagine things like your partner, money, work, school or politics are going to make the list.
The reason we bring our attention to these feelings, thoughts, memories, urges or sensations is so that we can react in a more healthy way and stay engaged with life in a meaningful way. Rather than avoiding or reacting to our trigger in a way that keeps us stuck or makes life worse.
How do we do that? With coping skills.
LPC, Coping means to invest own conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, in order to try to master, minimize or tolerate stress and conflict.
Here are 7 coping skill categories to get your started:
Distracting: take your mind off the trigger with a more meaningful activity
Call a friend, go for a walk, listen to music
Grounding: bring yourself to the present moment, the here and now
Think of things that your’re grateful for, body scan, 3 deep breaths
Emotional Release: do something that matches the emotion you are feeling, that is not harmful or dangerous
Yell into a pillow, do 100 jumping jacks, cry it out, watch a funny video
Self-Compassion:: do something that grows your appreciation for yourself
Journal about something you did well recently, remind yourself that you’re human
Thought Challenge: identify the unhelpful thinking pattern and put it to the test
What’s something positive about this? What’s the likelihood of that happening?
Access Your Higher Thoughts: spend time in hope and optimism
Pray, read, draw, journal, listen to podcasts
My challenge to you is to create a list of coping skills and keep them in your phone. Use them daily. The more we practice coping, the better we become at it.
Jessica Nickels,
LPC, cPT
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