How To Keep Your Cool: A guide to surviving the holidays
The holiday season is upon us as the temperatures steadily drop and the urge to stay in bed with warm fuzzy blankets begin to emerge. What also begins to emerge for some of us is the dread that comes with being surrounded by immediate and extended family for multiple hours at time. Sure, for some this is a happy experience, and a day full of presents, carbohydrates, and conversation is what many look forward to. However, for others, the holidays can bring up negative memories, unwanted conversations, and feeling like you don’t belong.
For the latter, here are some tips to help survive the holidays. Rather, a guide to prevent you from “losing it” right before the pumpkin pie comes out and to help you keep your cool for the entire duration of your lovely holiday gatherings.
Do Not Host. I mean this in the most polite way. Think about it, if you have every person in your family come over for the holiday, you are in charge of way more than you probably want to be. You’re choosing the time, what everyone is bringing. You’re preparing the turkey, using counter space, supplying the TV for the football game, and have hours worth of clean-up left when people FINALLY decide to leave. If you go to someone else’s home, you can help with cleanup, AND you can leave whenever you choose.
Prepare. No, I don’t mean prepare your side dishes and main courses, while those are equally important. Prepare yourself by asking questions about the gathering. Whether this be Thanksgiving dinner or a daylong Christmas, ask the host who is coming, what time the dinner begins, and if you’re abrasive Aunt Lisa is coming so you know what you’re up against PRIOR to being cornered into a conversation about where your life is going and hearing about the fourth person she has fallen in love with...this year.
Have an escape plan. Who knows, you may get to your holiday, and you may enjoy yourself. You may have avoided Aunt Lisa and are actually having a good time. Nevertheless, have a plan for if things turn sour or if Aunt Lisa starts to ask you why your fiance’ left and why you left the family business to make it on your own. Pick a time that you will leave, even if you are enjoying yourself. Have a spouse who wants to stay longer? Power to them. Talk to them about driving separately so you can leave when you need to. Don’t know what to tell people about why you’re leaving? Make something up or plan something for that time so you can leave without losing your cool first.
Well, there you have it. Your official guide to not lose it over the holidays. Your plan to manage Aunt Lisa and your anxiety in healthy manners. You can do it. You can have your pie and eat it too. So, on that note, Happy Holidays!
Robin Helget, LMSW, CPT
robin@kcresolve.com
785-408-7529
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