Breaking Free from Black or White: Understanding Bisexuality

“If you put blue and red together, it makes purple. Purple is not referred to as half red, half blue. Purple is its own color. The same applies to bisexuality.” –Unknown  

In honor of the 6th annual Bisexual Health Awareness month, this LGBTQIA-affirmative therapist has decided to shed some light on the identity with the largest numbers in the sexual-and-gender-minority community.  

Myths, Misbeliefs and Misconceptions; Debunked:  

• “It’s just a phase.” –Bisexual identities are neither a trend nor an experiment. Bisexual individuals are not using their sexuality to stand out or garner attention. Think about it this way: Who would voluntarily sign up to be harassed, ostracized and/or denied basic human rights? Hint: It’s not a choice.  

• “It’s just a cover.” –Bisexual individuals are sometimes accused of having one foot in the closet, as being confused and/or indecisive, and thus told by both straight and gay communities alike to “pick a side.” Educational moment: Bisexual identities are no less legitimate than any other sexual orientation. Buying into this notion further perpetuates this community’s invisibility and inability to feel at home in any community fully.  ​

• “It doesn’t count unless it’s a 50/50 split.” –Hold the phone: Bisexual preferences are diverse and exist on a spectrum. There is no correct ratio or quota to be met. Just because one bisexual person happens to pursue one sex and/or gender more often than another, this does not mean they are somehow “less bisexual.” 

• “You can’t identify as bisexual unless you’ve been in a relationship with more than one sex and/or gender.” –Seriously? This is like saying you can’t identify as straight unless you’ve been in a relationship with someone of the same sex. See the double standard? You don’t have to try out all sexes and/or genders to know what you’re into or how you feel. 

• “Oh, so you’re in a heterosexual relationship now? You must no longer be bisexual, then.” –This just in: Your sexuality doesn’t shift based on your current relationship. Why are we policing another person’s sexuality, anyway?  

• “Bisexuality isn’t real; it doesn’t actually exist.” –Bisexuality has been scientifically demonstrated in numerous studies worldwide. Denying or dismissing someone else’s identity does not make it disappear. Remember: Affirming another’s identity takes nothing away from your own. Bisexual, gay, straight, trans, non-binary…we’re all human.  

 
Your Call to Action: 
For more information on how to get involved in #BiHealthMonth, check out bihealthmonth.org, or follow the Bisexual Resource Center on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr.  

Caitlyn Crawford,
LMFT

---