How Our Thoughts Predict Our Day
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) takes a look at the way in which our thoughts impact our feelings and how our feelings direct our actions. Thoughts are just thoughts; they are not necessary reflections of reality, but we often act upon them as though they are truths.
The Power of Our Thinking
How we perceive the world determines whether we will have a stressful or stress-free day and whether we will be happy or angry when we walk through the door at night. The actual activities of the day matter far less than how we perceive them.
Negative Perceptions
Imagine yourself at a networking event for young singles. Prior to going to this event, you have told yourself that you are socially awkward, and people likely won’t want to speak with you.
You get into the event and see Matthew, who you don’t know very well but have wanted to talk to. He stands against the wall and when he sees you says, "Hello" but avoids eye contact. Then, he quickly walks away muttering under his breath. Later, you see him again and start a conversation. After a few minutes he says, “I gotta jet, later”.
In this scenario, what thoughts and feelings are being elicited?
“See, Matthew thinks I am weird and won’t talk to me longer than 3 minutes.”
“ I shouldn't even come to these things, I suck at making small talk.”
“I'm so awkward.”
Shame, fear, sadness, anxiety and anger are all feelings elicited from the interaction.
Positive Perceptions
Now imagine scene number two. You are heading to a networking event for young singles. Prior to going to this event, you have told yourself that you sometimes get nervous but generally like engaging with people and they like talking with you too. You remind yourself that everyone has different strengths in social situations.
You get into the event and see Matthew, who you don’t know very well but have wanted to talk to. He stands against the wall and when he sees you says, "Hello" but avoids eye contact. Then, he quickly walks away muttering under his breath. Later, you see him again and start a conversation. After a few minutes he says, “I gotta jet, later”.
In this scenario, what thoughts and feelings are being elicited?
“That was strange, on to the next person.”
“I wonder if I said something that he didn't like?”
“Maybe Matthew has anxiety in these situations like I do- I hope he is doing okay.”
Worry, understanding, and empathy are all feelings elicited from the interaction.
Same Scenario, Different Perceptions
This scenarios are identical in how they are written, literally word for word. Ultimately it is not about the words that are written, or the scenario that occurs- it is more about how you interpret that scenario. Setting ourselves up for success on a day-to-day basis has so much less to do with what we are actually doing and so much more about how we are thinking about the event.
What are the words that you tell yourself on a daily basis? Are they setting yourself up for success or failure? If you want to learn more about CBT or have a first session to begin addressing unhelpful thoughts, reach out to Amber at 913-735-0577 or book an appointment online at http://www.kcresolve.com/amber-reed.htm
MORE BY AMBER
