How Your Media Usage Is Impacting Your Mental State and Relationships

It used to just be a place to connect with loved ones. A place to share pictures. A means of staying in touch with people. A way of finding out information through a simple “search” on Google. A place to follow blogs or the news to stay up-to-date. Now, media and social media have become so much more than those things. It’s become a place of tension. It’s become so controversial that people stop talking to family members or lose friendships. It’s a form of getting news to travel quickly - whether it’s real or fake.  

What media most impacts you? 
 
Months ago, #metoo overtook the internet, news, and social media platforms. It was a source of contention, stress, support, and oftentimes a trigger to some’s trauma. For myself, I use social media platforms to connect with the Kansas City community, to provide information and support. Except, every time I opened Instagram or Facebook, I saw yet another #metoo post. This isn’t true for everyone, but for me, seeing this was even more isolating. I fell into the comparison traps of my story against everyone else’s. I devalued my experience at times and felt like I needed to console others other times. An innocent ploy to use social media to connect became something that triggered thoughts and feelings I had worked so hard through.  
 
This is just one example of the power that internet has. Posts can go viral in less than a minute. Relationships can be severed even quicker. Judgment and comparison is the name of the game, and fake information are encouraging people to change opinions and beliefs based on inaccuracy.  
 
Media messages have shaped how we think and take in information. Political, social, personal, cultural, and environmental information is shared with a single click. On March 22nd, Mike Gaziano, MSW, LCSW, will discuss these very things in a 3-hour course.  

He writes, “We have been misled as to what are healthy boundaries, appropriate relationship behaviors, and codependency.”  
 
So what do we do?  
 
        1. Get informed.  

• Where am I getting this information? 

• Is this information from a reputable source? 

• Could this really be true based on what I know? 

• Cross-reference: check multiple sources to see if this information is the same throughout. Notice variances and be curious of the accuracy instead of just consuming the information and taking it as ‘truth’ through a “share”.
  
  2. Check reality. Ask yourself if this is really true or if this is just your thought/feeling/perception.  

• How am I taking in this information? 

• How is this information impacting me? 

• What do I need in order to cope with the information being presented to me? 

• Who can I reach out to for support in this area? 

• Again, check the accuracy of the information. 
  
  3. Moderate media usage. No, really, step away from the iPhone! 

• Scrolling through endless news articles, social media platforms, and reading comments can be very unhelpful and unhealthy. It can impact your mood and your behavior and increase anxiety or depression. Be mindful of how long and how often you are spending doing this. 

• Protect your brain by moderating what you are feeding it. We become what we think, so how are you fueling your brain and what are you fueling it with? 

• Set time limits through your phone apps. 

• Delete unnecessary platforms. 

• Leave your phone at home sometimes or in the other room so you are less likely to mindlessly get on it and “check” or scroll. 

• Turn off notifications and disconnect from other devices (like your watch).
  
  4. Find connection other places.  

• Am I involved in communities and if not, what communities or networks can I get involved in? 

• Who can I spend more time with? Who can I be intentional about reaching out to? 

• What events or activities can I get more involved with? If you don’t know, who could help you find out that information. 

 
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” - Brene Brown 
 
In-person human connection builds empathy, nonverbal communication skills, and significantly improves relationships and self-esteem. Are you connected? 

Robin Helget,
LSCSW, CPT, Millennial Therapist

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