Rituals of Connection

Throughout our days and busy lives, connecting with our significant others can become much more difficult than we ever expected. By the time we have the ability to sit down and take a minute to relax, we’re typically exhausted and in need of time to decompress before even being emotionally available for our partner. So how do we even begin building connection into our hectic, over-stimulating lives? 
 
The answer is in tiny moments called rituals of connection.  

Rituals of connection become habits and therefore more reliable moments of connection throughout the day. These can include how you greet and say goodbye to one another, how you eat meals together, how you wind down for the evening, how you fill each other in on your days, how you connect while at work, how you initiate sex, etc. The beauty with these rituals is that they are completely yours to create and customize for what works best for the two of you. While it initially may feel silly to focus on these small moments throughout the day, the small moments are the foundation to building a strong and lasting connection in your relationship.  
 
I encourage you and your significant other to sit down and have a conversation about which rituals are important to each of you and how you’d like to implement them in your lives.  
 
Use these questions to help guide the conversation between you and your partner.  

• What’s meaningful about this to you? 

• How is it initiated? 

• When will it be done? 

• How often will it occur? 

• What role does each partner play in it? 

• How will it end? 

• How would you like to integrate this into your life? 

 
Here are some ideas of rituals to get you started! 

• Leaving 

• Reuniting 

• Venting about your day 

• Dates 

• Physical touch (nonsexual and sexual) 

• Mealtimes 

• Bedtimes 

• Vacations 

• Celebrations 

• Hosting/entertaining 

• When someone is sick 

• Morning routines 

• Dining out 
  

Elise Grigg, LPC 
elise@kcresolve.com 
913-390-3560 

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