If you’re a couple making it happily through this quarantine together, hats off! If you’re a couple in conflict, gloves off may be more like it. All of this time at home can cause friction and shine a bright light on chronic issues. No fun, right? Yesterday’s small problems can start looking like big ones. It’s hard to be so confined for so long, and nobody wants to end up as relationship roadkill.

The next key ingredient to creating a healthy balance in our lives is through identifying the Relational Nutrients we need from others. Once we can identify our own needs, we are more effective at helping others. We can give in ways that we can’t otherwise.

We are feeling trapped! Big cats pace when they are feeling stressed, we, as humans have lost our freedom of choice and movement and we are feeling stressed and trapped. What do animals do when they feel they are trapped? FIGHT for survival! How do you, as a person, feeling trapped in your home show your stress?

Cognitive Behavior Therapy is an evidence-based practice shown to be effective for children, teens, and adults.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy focuses on the present and the future. It helps children realize they have control over their behaviors.

If learning to love yourself is the journey, then feeling self-love is the destination. Self-love is the epitome of self-care, and we deserve to love ourselves as much as we love others.  

Happiness does not just happen. Matter of fact, it takes work to be happy. There are certain things that can temporarily boost our happiness, but that happiness soon fades.

One of the most surprising findings relationship researcher John Gottman found, was that long-lasting intimacy and trust was not based on the depth and breadth of conversations couples had. Instead it was the couple’s willingness to respond to each other’s bids for connection. It didn’t matter the topic or context, it was the availability and intentionality to respond to a partner’s bid, no matter how trivial, that kept the spark and closeness.

To be able to connect our inner experience with our body’s physical sensations, label what the blend of this is, and respond effectively is one of the most powerful skills any individual can learn, I believe. On the other hand, it may be one of the rarest and hardest skills that many of us have never learned. This is called emotional identification and expression. 

I have found myself recently thinking about a discussion I had with someone years ago now. The person was talking about taking walks with their significant other. At the trailhead where they took most of these walks was an old tall and twisted tree. The tree was very striking and they had a great amount of love for this tree. This seemed odd to the person, who questioned why they would be struck by this tree that was so strange looking. In describing the tree, the person talked about how the tree had the scars of life on it.

Something we’re not hearing a lot about during the coronavirus crisis is how it’s affecting people with past traumatic experiences. If you have noticed that the current situation is triggering past traumas know that you are not overreacting to the current situation nor your past traumas

Well, we’re three months into a new decade with our undies in a twist. Coronovirus this, coronavirus that…shops and businesses closing…toilet paper scramble in full swing. Beyond cleaning out drawers and scouring Netflix, many of us find ourselves feeling isolated, shut off, and alone with swirling thoughts, some of them pretty dark. If tangled thoughts keep you awake at night, have you on edge, cause headaches, trigger anxiety

Right now we’re hearing a lot about social distancing. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) official definition of social distancing is “remaining out of congregate settings, avoiding mass gathering, and maintaining distance (approximately 6 feet or 2 meters) from others when possible.

With the near-constant coverage of the recent outbreak of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), it can be easy to get caught up in the frenzy of panic and misinformation. During this time, it is more important than ever to nurture your mental health as well as your physical health.

I’ve never thought of silence as being restorative until I was forced to battle with the chaos that had become my life. Anyone else ever been there? I found myself in desperate need of stillness.

Being loved feels and looks different for everyone. It is important when having a partner that you understand what makes them feel loved. This can be helping them around the house, spending time with them or giving them a back rub.

Being on the cusp of spring, we are met with the idea of spring cleaning. While cleaning the physical space around you can help with your mental health, I decided to take a new twist on spring cleaning: cleaning out things that are holding you back from achieving better mental health.

Do you want the good news or the great news? The good news is, you don’t have to listen to any of that. The great news is that what will make you truly happy is already inside of you (yes YOU) waiting to come out.

In part two of this two-part blog, we’ll create a self-care plan built specifically for relationships and discuss how to communicate this to the important people in your life. Click here to catch up on part one! 

Typically we talk about self-care in an individualistic context, but self-care is also crucial for the health and quality of our relationships.